Author Archives: Humor Happens

Today was a God is Good Thing!

Last night, my modem died … because my kitty Joy got her head stuck in a glass of water and splashed it everywhere when she got it off … including all over my modem. Hence: dead modem and wet cat. No one was happy, and she didn’t appreciate my efforts to dry her off with a towel. Then it was a long time with Spectrum/Charter to help them realize that a dead modem is a dead modem and needs replacing. First thing this morning, I went to the local store to make the trade from dead to living.

On the way home, I stopped at McDonald’s for a breakfast treat, since I was in a foul mood and hoped it would cheer me. It REALLY cheered me because the wonderful person who handed me the sausage biscuit was non other than Rayna! We went to church camp together umpteen years ago.

Seeing her instantly cheered me! I adore and respect her, and it did my heart good to see her. All of my frustration immediately disappeared, and I felt joy at seeing a kind soul.

When I got home, I had to call a number to get the modem hooked up. I was told a 6 minute wait, but it was only 2. Then the person made the change right away, and I was back on the internet in under 3 minutes!

Extra phew, because I had a client appointment in 12 minutes. I didn’t want to miss that client meeting because she helps get BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, & People of Color) books into the community. She’s a sweetheart, and I am always inspired when speaking with her.

Today was a God is Good Thing!

Dear Lord of Love,

Might the day slow down? Perhaps the remainder will be calm, clean, and careful? A little less stress?

It all began last night when…

11:00 p.m. my eldest kitty got sick on my bed. Not urp, but poo. Sick poo. I cleaned as best I could and put it all in the laundry. Then I cuddles and cooed to my kitty, hoping she’d feel better.

1:00 a.m. the phone rang. No, it’s never good after midnight. But it wasn’t horrible either. Mom had fallen and needed to go to the ER for the 2nd time in a month. A couple of weeks ago she fell and cut open her finger. She’s wandering her room in the wee hours when she falls.

The same was happening at home … but I didn’t always hear her right away. Fortunately, they check on each person often throughout the day and night, so they know quickly. This time, she fell and hurt her neck. Fortunately, it’s just a sprain and no other injuries.

5:00 a.m. the ER Nurse called asking me to pick her up. I said no, that would be Heritage. They said, we know, but she’s insisting it’s you. Since I am in town, able to go, not sick, and such, I went.

8:00 a.m. I washed all of my bedding for a second time. It looked and smelled fine … but I just couldn’t yet. Another round won’t hurt it any.

9:00 a.m. work meeting. Phew! Nothing wrong here. This is a weekly team meeting, and it’s often short. I am blessed beyond measure to have a fantastic program manager and delightful colleagues.

10:30 a.m. finally enjoying the breakfast of champions! Shamrock Shake from McDonald’s. There’s not much on their menu I like, but they do okey dokey on beverages.

Lord of Love, thank you for already turning the day around. Thank you for being in my life and guiding this errant squirrel who can’t walk in a straight line to save her own life.

Amen!!!

Alzheimer’s sucks.

• It’s so random. I try to figure out where she is in time by the people she refers to. Sometimes she’s here today; other times, she’s in the 1950’s. The decade she is currently living in can change in a single visit. It’s wack-a-mole.
  
• In the last few weeks, my mom calls more and more asking why her mom isn’t listed on her phone for her to call. Her mom passed on several decades ago. Usually I say something like, “I haven’t spoken to her in a long time”, and mom figures out she’s gone. This makes her sad, but not inconsolable or too upset, and changing the subject helps … or talking about how awesome her mom was. (Truly, her mom was the best of the best.)
  
• Sometimes, after speaking to me for a while on the phone, she forgets who she is talking with. I get that, since there’s no visual clue.
  
• Yesterday was the first time she forgot me in person. But then I got to thinking, she may not have known me at all. When I arrived, they said, “Jean, your daughter Kim is here.” It isn’t bothering me because I keep hearing about this from the far too, too, too many who have already walked this path. Those who went before us on this journey are a great help in sharing their knowledge.
  
• Mom’s always been kind to those she doesn’t know well, so that’s a plus. She’s usually kind to me, but as her closest family member, I often get the brunt of all things that concern her in any way … and she can go from sweet to angry in a millisecond … and this is not new to Alzheimer’s … it’s just who she has always been with any of us descendants.
  
• Whether her ability to remember me is disconcerting to me or not, mom was very happy to go for a drive. She has always liked that. She was happy to go out even if we didn’t stop anywhere. Whether she knows me or not is not the priority. Whether she is happy or not is the priority, and the goal is for her to enjoy whatever time she has left.
  
• Any which way, we went for an hour drive to determine her stamina since she’s had COVID. She’s weak for sure. The cough seems to come and go. She’s also tired and her tummy is often upset. For now, I’ll just take her for drives to get out. I don’t want to wear her down and cause a relapse.
  
• Oh! Visiting hours have opened up. One still must wear a mask and have a recent negative COVID test. Otherwise, visitors are welcome most any time! Mom loves visitors. She’s a social being, and it’s not whether she remembers you are not (most of the time she’ll figure it out), but it’s about enjoying her while she’s here.

Mom is feeling better. Which means she’s more bored than ever because they’re still social distancing. Although she has many people to call, she just isn’t doing it. If you have a moment, please give her a call and/or send a card. Please let me know if you need the number or address.

Well, it’s going around again. My mom has COVID, as do several of her fellow residents at Amber Place. The good news is that they’re all vaccinated, and they have mild cases.

Mom sounds stuffy and thinks she just has a cold. Other times she remembers that they told her it was COVID.

Mostly, she’s bored. Phone calls and cards are greatly appreciated. Please let me know if you’d like her phone number and/or mailing address.

Please keep my mom, Jean, in your prayers. She does not have COVID at this point, but 4 of her fellow residents at Amber Place do. All residents are now confined to their rooms and the staff have increased the PPE (Personal Protection Equipment) that they wear.

Normally, all are permitted to gather together for meals, games, walks, movies, outings, and sitting in the sun in their garden. Since COVID is now present in their home, they must each stay in their rooms. Mom could really use LOTS of phone calls and mail to help with this. I’ll be taking picking up the newspaper for her each day it is printed and oodles of magazines. She isn’t into crafts, and not so much into crosswords and such. Sometimes she’ll color, but not often. She enjoys reading your letters and short articles in magazines and the newspapers. She loves short jokes and updates on family and friends.

Anything you think of to help her pass the time would be greatly appreciated. It’s only been a day since they’ve been confined to their rooms, but she’s already bored silly. She is use to engaging with her fellow residents, and she has made good friends with two of the women. She’s missing their companionship very much.

Please keep all residents and staff of Amber Place in your heart and prayers. They all have their vaccines, but this does not preclude them from getting COVID. Hopefully, their cases will remain light. However, these precautions mean that the staff must now deliver all of their meals individually to their rooms, plus any snacks and such. Their workload just quadrupled to say the least.

Your prayers, phone calls to Jean, and any mail or letters to Jean are MOST appreciated!

This is silly!

The things to be done soon can be put in a sticky sheet, because there are only 1 or 2. There are too many lines for this title.

Plus, I like to include things I’ve already done so I can get started on my checkmarks.

Alzheimer’s sucks. My mom does so much better living at memory care. Although it makes her think she’d be fine at home. I wish the utopia in her mind were a real place.

While at home, everything was a fight. Taking medicine, basic hygiene, eating well, and so much more. Now that the memory care home ensures she has all of those things, and so much more, she’s stable, mostly, for now. With the memory care home she has a long prognosis for health and comfort, even though she currently disagrees with that assessment.

I’m glad she thinks that she was happy at home. I’m glad she thinks she is capable of self care. I’m glad she doesn’t remember the daily intense screaming she so passionately provided. Obviously, if any of us thought it was possible for that place to exist in this home, she’d be here.

This disease is terrifying. My mom taught me that hitting was always wrong. Now she says that it’s okay to hit when you’re mad. My mom taught me that throwing things at people is always wrong. Now it’s okay to do that anytime. My mom was never one to believe a scam phone call. It is only by the assistance of 10 million angels that she didn’t change to a new Medicare policy with each of the 2 to 6 daily calls during open enrollment for Medicare. She use to pay her bills early and accurately … that ended long before I realized it was a problem two years ago. She would never have given any information to a spam phone caller … and now we have the highest security possible on her finances because I heard her start to give her social security number out at least twice, and she told me of two other times in the last year.

This article explains the signs of the disease: https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/what-are-signs-alzheimers-disease.
– Of the symptoms for Mild Alzheimer’s, mom has 8 of the 10 listed.
– Of the symptoms for Moderate Alzheimer’s, mom has 10 of the 13 listed.
– Fortunately, she only has one symptom of Severe Alzheimer’s.

My mom can appear to be okay, even while possessing most of the symptoms of Alzheimer’s. She can carry on conversations better now than 5 months ago. She can do some basic math again. She even knows her husband’s name half the time, and sometimes she knows that her husband is my dad. This is only because she is in a better place than she even imagined existed when she bought a long term care policy over 2 decades ago. We didn’t know places like Amber Place and North Woods Village even existed. I’m so sorry they need to exist, and yet I’m so very grateful they exist.

And now, her brother has passed on. She is the only one of her siblings and their spouses still living today. This is such a difficult time for her, especially between the move and now the loss. Please keep her in your heart and prayers.

Moral of the story: Alzheimer’s sucks the life out of everyone involved. It’s as though life is constantly blurred by thick rain and fuzzy windows. Praying for everyone involved.

I thought that there would be less stress when my mom moved to the memory care home. To a degree, this is true. In other ways, it’s just different.

The last half of 2020, there was increased screaming and anger and depression every day. She just couldn’t hold it together, but she also refused medications, eating well, hygiene, etc. Depression and anger are part of the disease in general, and especially when these symptoms are untreated.

Now that the care givers are able to regulate her medication, meals, and hygiene at her memory care home, mom is doing much better. She was great for March and the early part of April. Then she started having the same type of issues again. This is typical as the disease slowly progresses. There will be leveling off, a few highs, and then more loss.

Now the screaming is back. Fortunately, she seems to do well with most other people, or at least she doesn’t let her anger take over her whole being like it does with me. This is also typical that people with Alzheimer’s lash out at their primary caregiver.

I know part of it is the disease, but part of it is always how she has treated only her descendants. Most of the time, she’s fine, but not always. The screaming has happened every few months all of my life. She also tells us how dreadful we are in a way one would think we’d committed murder, done illicit drugs, and kidnapped babies (all, not just 1). Obviously, we haven’t done anything like that. It’s random, but her words and tone of voice have caused great grief in our family that leads to long term pain.

At least I am getting better at not responding back to her anger with more anger. I just wish it would help to calm her. It’s almost worse when I remain calm. Nothing I say distracts her from her anger. Others can change the subject with her, but that makes things worse when I do it.

Until a few hours later. Then she may call me back and have no recollection of the anger from shortly before. Other times she remembers for days. I never know who I will be talking with when I call her or answer her calls or see her in person.

I need to be here for her. I am her primary caregiver, just like she was once for me. I need to ensure she has the best life possible while enduring a mind ravaging, progressive, and terminal disease.

I vow to do what I am able to do with her best interests in heart and mind. She can scream and insult and berate me all the day long, but I will be here to support and love her. I just wish she treated us descendants like she does everyone else. But this is what we have, and we all do our best to bring to life the joy my dad wanted us to have in our lives. This involves a therapist and my doctor providing support and medication for me, while her doctors do the same for her, and that’s a healthy piece of this 3D puzzle called life.

My dad endured a lot in his lifetime, and yet he found humor and joy most every day, even with the loss of two daughters and his first wife while they were far too young to leave this world. He is my example of a life well lived, and I pray we are all able to strive for that.

Moral of the story: I am sure I will see humor another day. It’s just not today. Probably not tomorrow. But I will do what I am able to have joy in my life and try to bring mom joy, just like my dad repeatedly said he wanted for all of us.

Durable Power of Attorney (DPOA): Borgess

• If you give a DPOA form to any office or single location in Borgess, it will only be applicable to that office for medical purposes only.
• It will not be sent to their billing department unless you do so directly.
• It will not be sent to all of Borgess, even though you were told it would by two staff people when you gave it in person.
• You will need to provide it to each location individually for medical.
• You will need to provide it to each location individually for billing.
• It will not be applied for 7-14 days from the moment that they acknowledge accept receipt of it, A N D they may not acknowledge receipt of it for months (M O N T H S).
• I’ve sent it 5 times in 13 months (email, mail, and fax).
• They have only now … when it is too late for my mom’s tax documents … acknowledged receipt of it … in O N E billing department.

I am so very, very, very glad that my doctor moved from Borgess to Bronson in the mass exodus. I had zero issues requesting the same from Bronson. I had it in less than 5 business days back in January.

Moral of the story: Being a DPOA sucks. I never dreamed I’d be doing any of this. Mom never dreamed she’d be living with this disease. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Then praise the Lord of Love while counting your blessings seventy times seven for the best of friends and family.