I can hardly believe this photo was taken not even three weeks ago. I was sad to see on my way home from work today that most of the trees have dropped most of their lovely leaves for the season. Fortunately, the delightful scents are still in the air. I am thankful to be able to enjoy this season, the smells, the sights, the sounds, and the family time coming up called Thanksgiving.
Life passes by in a blink, be sure to make time for joy!
Earlier this week I was out and about and had to stop dead in my tracks. One of my most favorite scents is autumn: dying leaves, baked goods with cinnamon and nutmeg, and burning leaves. In order to enjoy the scent of autumn leaves, I must endure all four seasons: Spring to grow new life, summer to expand on heat and growth, autumn as everything prepares to rest, and winter where rest is encouraged while the earth is covered in chilly blankets of snow. When I smell that invigorating aroma, it is so worth it to me.
Today I was stuck home with a wicked migraine all day. Fortunately, I had a great pair of nurses providing assistance. Although they did slack off when I dropped things. No matter how I asked, they wouldn’t pick anything up for me. At least they watched over me while I napped and ensured all of their meals were on time.
This evening I was shopping at Meijer grocery store, mostly for the 10 for $10 items. As I was walking through the store, I passed the baby food isle. I’m sure I’ve done this at least a half dozen times since September 11th. But tonight, it hit me. I don’t need to go down that isle anymore.
But I want to go down that isle! That would mean that my Daffodil and Daisy silly kitties would be here and needing extra special food available in that isle. I would still have their cuddles, snuggles, and bundles of love. Anyhow, shopping took longer than usual, since I tend to run into everyone in Meijer at one time or another. I didn’t want to do so with tears racing down my face.
Fortunately, no one I knew was roaming around the car parts, sporting goods, or lighting in the back rows of the store. I was able to pull myself together and make it back to the front of the store in order to go through the cash registers so I could come home. Thank goodness our Joy kitty pretended that she was on the brink of absolute starvation so that I could concentrate of taking care of her. Also good that I don’t give her a full serving until I talk with mom to verify if she was due a full serving. (She was not due a full serving of food – hugs yes, crunchies no.) I’ve never met a cat that didn’t lie to get extra meals. Nor one who didn’t talk back nastily if I called them on it.
Finally, after a few hours, the sadness I felt was replaced by joy that I got to know these girls. The joy that they were loved thoroughly. The joy that no two cats are the same, and their uniqueness remains in my heart. May you know this joy in your life. Today’s pain is worth every moment of their lives.
Today our Pastor shared in his sermon words that were spoken by a member of a former parish he served in Michigan, “I am in awe of the prayers of the saints dripping off the rafters onto us.”
I feel the same about my home church, and all churches that I’ve visited over the years. There is something in the faith community that covers me with hope, love, and the dream to live well enough to make those who have gone before me feel my faith too.
May your faith be shared and wash over those you love.
One could say that at work we have received a 30-day stay of execution with a full pardon soon to follow. Basically, our existing grant with the state has been reinstated for another 30 days, and, after some changes, we should be good to go for the long term once-a-gain. In other words, we get to keep our jobs!
However, in the meantime, there has been a loss of life. At least for me and my office. My colleague (Best One Ever & I’ve has amazing colleagues over the years) has accepted a job in another department. I will miss her knowledge, humor, and companionship greatly, but at least she’s not going far, just across the street and into accounting. I won’t be following, because math and I are not friends.
At least I am blessed to stay at one of the best employers with amazing and delightful colleagues and continue in the work I’ve been fortunate to have for the last seven years. I am extra blessed to have colleagues that only get better and better over the years, even after having some great ones to begin with many moons ago.
In other news, Joy and I are getting along better. It took a few weeks, but she’s appreciative of my room now. It took even longer, but she’s now using the kitty litter box in her new room. Of course, Merry still uses it on occasion as well, but there’s nothing new there. Merry tries to be the boss of us all. I’m still missing Daffodil & Daisy, but Joy is turning out to be good company too. She enjoys having a person all to herself again. Especially nice since she’s less nippy with me and more purry.
My Pastor named this time in my life well: A Season of Grief.
The non-profit program I have worked in for the last seven years is coming to an end on October 31, 2015. We are part of the cuts to create funding for the roads from MEDC. Without state funding, we lose our federal funding since an equal match is required to receive federal monies. Half of the programs like ours statewide are being eliminated. Not only do request prayers for the dozen of my colleagues across the state and myself to find good work quickly. Fortunately, we are at the best possible local host to lose our jobs. So far, they have been beyond kind in this frustrating situation.
In other news, I have at least stopped going to the ladies room every 1/2 hour over this news, but I am now shedding more than the cats. How do I know? I’m finding my hair on them! Thank goodness I have much of the thin stuff, so it will take a while to be noticeable. Unless I get to stop this form of stress and start stressing in another way. Resumes, cover letters, and interviews, oh my!
In addition, I am still grieving my cat Daffodil. My mom has said several times that she’s never seen such a sick animal live her life with such grace and dignity. She’s right. That sweetie pie was sagging skin and thin bones by her end. But she still took such good care of her most beautiful hair that one could not tell unless they touched her to know how thin she had become. Although moving hurt, she sat still, tall, and elegant, so one could not see her turmoil. She was still extra kind to me with my migraines – caring more for me than for her own misery. Learning to live without her is like having my heart cut from my chest and stuck back in pieces that don’t fit well together anymore.
Not much humor for this blog today, except for finding more of my hair on the cats than I find cat hair on me. Well, there is some humor. Our clock that has a lovely little ding dong ring on the hour is dying. At least the little ding dong thingy bob is coming to its end. It starts off sounding lovely, but then sounds like a ghost calling for out with ooh’s and ah’s. Very appropriate for Halloween. That makes me giggle senselessly. A good thing right now. I do believe that laughter can heal.
Actually, that leads me to one more humorous thing: In our 24 week Bible Study class (we’re in week three), our eldest member said tonight, “My mom never would have let me read a book with so much sex in it.” Genesis has it going on! Although, it’s often cousins, multiple wives, and 1/2 siblings, so most of us are a lot grossed out by it. And yet, because of this, giggles abound in this Bible Study group of Christian friends. I thank God for such wonderful people in my life: work, church, and otherwise. So many blessings.
Today was Daffodil’s last day. I will miss her greatly.
Of all the house-cats we’ve had thus far, Daffodil was the first to choose me. My first, Ashlee, a gift from the Lubbert family upon High School Graduation loved all of us equally. Jasmine loved my mom the most. Daisy selected my dad. Daffodil was the one who selected me! I was her chosen human. Of the two remaining, Joy likes both of us and Merry is totally my mom’s cat. Being chosen is a very special gift.
This little lady’s grace shone through until her last. Her long lovely locks never lost their luster in all her illness. Although she has been merely fur and bones for months, she’s continued to rule the roost of this home keeping all others in line with her steely eyed glare, and no need to raise a paw for control. She knew where she wanted to be and when, and she would arrive with grace and beauty, no matter the journey to get there. She still had spunk to run until this week. She made it to the litter box as often as she was able, no matter how she felt. She only ever begged with sweetness and gentle paws, assuring to get what she desired by her kindness in asking. And she always let me sleep in on Saturdays.
Daffodil was quiet (unless meat was cooking), sweet (especially when she was the sole source of my attention), strong (she lived 6 months past her drop dead date and a total of one and a half years with severe kidney failure), wise (you could just see the wisdom in her eyes when I read to her), and intelligent (if you played with a toy on a string, she would pat your hand and not the toy, because she knew you were holding the string that was tied to the toy).
Now she is with her sister and grandpa in heaven. She is also with my sister’s dog, Shadow – who passed on Tuesday. And my friend’s bunny OPI, who passed on Wednesday. So many furry friends at one time.
I thank everyone who has supported us in this journey of living with and caring for a terminally ill kitty. Most of my supporters have been there, and I appreciate the care and prayers. My prayer is that everyone know the love of a furry friend. It is worth the pain of loss to have those cherished memories and stories and love in your life.
Daffodil Ann, thank you for choosing me. I chose you too! You remain loved and treasured for always.
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Today at work was rough, and I made some mistakes. I feel dreadful, and things don’t always turn out great in the midst of struggle. I need to do better and learn from these times. I need to listen more than I talk (which is more difficult the older I get).
And yet, there’s good in the world, no matter how I feel about myself at this moment. So I have found three joys to celebrate for today:
What brought you joy today?
YOU are the news now...
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"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." Groucho Marx
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