What I think I know about vampires (based on many festive books, such as those by Charlaine Harris, Anne Rice, Stephenie Meyer, Bram Stoker, and Mary Janice Davidson):
Vampires: Garlic is a problem.
Me: Onions and garlic, when cutting or cooking them, burn my eyes. This could be a sign. However, I enjoy their flavor in various combinations, and I don’t run from them in fear.
Vampires: Other problems are crosses, silver bullets, and wooden stakes.
Me: Other than splinters and tarnish, these are not problems for me.
Vampires: They like the dark and could potentially burn to death or shimmer in the daylight (depends on the author).
Me: This depends on if I have a migraine – in which case, I also like the dark, very much. However, I don’t actually burn to death or sparkle in the sunlight. Just grumpy in bright light and sunburn without sunscreen.
Vampires: Depending on the tale told, some vampires sleep all day and are up all night.
Me: Well, I can certainly accomplish this, but it’s not consistent.
Vampires: They don’t eat what most humans consider food.
Me: Now I KNOW I’m not a vampire!
I guess since I mostly get pain in my eyes from cutting onions or prefer the dark during a migraine, this is not enough to make me a fictional species.
Moral of the Story: Perhaps I shouldn’t jump to conclusions.
Humor Happens 