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Author Archives: Humor Happens

Dad’s Gifts

My dad wasn’t big on gifts. He felt that being your best everyday was a gift to all of your loved ones. (I, on the other hand, am my best only now and again, so friends and family are very likely to receive gifts from me.)

After my dad retired from dairy farming (not from farming, just the dairy), he had more time on his hands. He and mom could take more time when they ran errands for the farm since there were no bossies waiting for his return. They would not only stop for lunch near their destination, but visit friends or family, stop by the nature center, and do a little site seeing.

On one of their afternoon outings, they enjoyed the Nature Center. It is always a delight to be there in that protected space. A while later, my mom received a hummingbird wind chime set that they’d seen at the Nature Center’s gift shop. My mom was thrilled! Not only did he get her a gift, but he had to go back later to do so!

Actually, dad gave us all gifts every day: a pleasant conversation, not judging us when we made mistakes, showing us his love of animals, sharing his memories, and so much more.

Today, the hummingbird chime is still in our front yard. Mom and I still think of dad when we see or hear it. One of those gifts that keep on giving.

Moral of the story: The greatest gifts of all, are the gifts of time, talent, and talk.

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Posted by on July 3, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Migraine, Migraine, Go Away

Has your face ever felt like someone was pulling the bones from it … slowly, painfully?
Has the back of your head ever felt like an axe was whacking it open with quick hits, reverberating your being?
Have you ever felt like an arrow was being shot through your eyebrow and coming out the back of your head again and again and again?
Have you ever had nausea so bad you can’t stand to breath? Every breath might be the one were you’ll lose the last hold you have on life?
Have you ever had your left arm go numb? You can use it, but there’s only that numb sensation? And, oh, the nausea. You know it’s not a stroke because you’ve had it before, and the doctors tell you not to worry. This too shall pass, it’s “just” a migraine.
Have you ever smelled bacon so strong, and yet there is no bacon near?
Have you ever smelled fresh mown lawn in the dead of winter? You could walk outside and touch it! But no, it’s not there.
Have you ever been so dizzy that the thought of walking sounds no different than spinning out of control on a carnival ride?
Have you ever tried to speak a simple sentence, and it comes out as a jumble? And you cannot bear to repeat it due to the pain of speech?
Has the light ever made your head throb, your eyes burn, and your skull to crack open?
Has speaking even one word seemed like such a painful act that you cannot even try? No matter that you’re at work, and the boss is asking you a question.
Has the sound of a moth’s fluttering wings ever been so loud, you need to cry out in pain from it, but you know that the sound of your own voice will be too much?
Has the smell of toast, which you normally find enticing, been so repulsive, that your throat starts closing from it?
Have you ever turned to look at a friend and felt as though your head was split open by a bowling ball, and the bowling ball was now coming down on it over and over and over again?
Have you ever walked a flight of stairs and found at the top that the left side of your head is filled with crushed skull and the shards are stabbing you ceaselessly?
Have you ever tried to wash your hair and found that you cannot touch your head without horrendous pain shooting through your entire body?
Have you ever dreamed a surgeon is cutting into your head while you walk down the sidewalk, only to wake and know that is just what your head feels like right now?
Have you ever had one-quarter of your head try to explode through the flesh, and since it can’t, the brain is beating and beating and beating on the skull to get out?
Has your head ever been tight, squeezing out your tears, making your nose to run, and your mouth bone dry?
Have you ever bent over to get something out of a drawer and your head feels as though a table saw is running through it? Once you stand back up, you hope the table saw has been turned off, but no, it is still there, rotating ceaselessly through your brain.
Have you ever brushed your teeth and found you are in migraine? The nausea, the dizziness, the pain, the agony means that you’ll be calling in late to work.

These are just some examples of migraines I’ve had over the last 20 plus years.

The blessing is that not every migraine is a 10 (worst) on a scale of 1 to 10. The pain ranges in intensity, as well as the symptoms.
The blessing is that they come and go, with the help of medications and treatments.
The blessing is that not every migraine is the same nor has the same symptoms.
The blessing is that it rotates around the quadrants of my head, letting other quadrants recover.
The blessing is that I have family and friends who love me in spite of this.
The blessing is that I’ve been able to continue to work.
The blessing is that there are doctors out there who understand pain.
The blessing is that I am not alone – many suffer and have compassion (although I wish that no one knew this pain).
The blessing is that people who have not ever had one iota of this pain have compassion.
The blessing is that I know to keep trying, help does come now and again for long-term relief.
The blessing is that God is with me. God did not put this disease on me, but He is here to see me through.
The blessing is that there is hope.

Why post this on Humor Happens? Because although there’s little humor here, there is the joy when it passes. For me, these pass. They come again, but there is relief between.

Moral of the Story: Pain, albeit recurring, has lulls. Count your blessings in the lulls.
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Posted by on July 2, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Dancing in the Water

Last night I joined in the Zumba swim class again. I didn’t work as hard as last time because I had a nasty migraine earlier in the day, and I didn’t want it coming back for a stay. Therefore, I wasn’t as wiped out after the class.

I still laughed a LOT during the class! It’s a hoot trying to follow the instructor while standing on tippy toe in a swimming pool up to my neck in water.

Now for the bad news: I had to pee at 35 minutes. No way was I going to get out for that! The last 25 minutes of class felt like an hour and a half.

In the end, it was worth it: I feel a little sore, the migraine didn’t come back, and I’ve gone to the gym two weeks in a row! Just to work on the beverage ratio factor.

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Posted by on July 1, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Seek and You May Find: A Happy Tail

Today’s post was to be different, but my night took a twist.

Tonight was the township’s fireworks display. I walked out to see them, back by the gardens. I could see them well, so I called my brother asking if he’d like to watch them with me. He said he’d seen them, but his dog Lucy was missing. He’d been searching for an hour, and there was no sign of her.

I walked to his house and offered to help. After some discussion, we agreed to take both trucks and leave one out where he’d last seen her. That was way back in one of his orchards. He’d spent the evening hand thinning some of his fruit trees, and she’d been with him.

By the time we got the trucks out there and he opened his door, Lucy walked right up to him! Now I know he will sleep well, she was just frighted first by someone with gunfire earlier and later by the fireworks, and that she will come when she feels safe to the sound of the truck.

I know this isn’t every pet care giver’s outcome. I know the lost are not always found. My heart goes out to all who have endured seeking with no finding.

But tonight, we give thanks. As soon as he told me the situation, I began to pray. That praying has not ended, because now I give thanks.

Morale of the Story: It’s worth the effort. When a loved one is in need, taking the time to do whatever you are able, especially if it’s praying, it IS worth it. Do what you are able, where you are able.

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Posted by on June 30, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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I Fit, Episode 8

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Posted by on June 29, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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What I Know About Cooking

What I know about cooking can fit into a short list:

  • I don’t like it
  • It’s time consuming
  • It involves cleanup
  • Short ingredient and direction lists are good = 4 or less of each
  • Use butter, not the artificial stuff: I’d rather have a heart attack than cancer
  • Lastly, if something is warmed in the kitchen, then I’m cooking … therefore, heating a frozen dinner in the microwave IS cooking
  • Someone else’ cooking often tastes better than my own

Somebody Elses Cooking

 
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Posted by on June 28, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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The Voice in my Car

I enjoy books. I enjoy reading. For me, reading takes many forms. The two I use the most are with my eyes and my ears. Yes, listening is another way of reading – to me.

Most of the time, I have an audio book going in the car. I recently downloaded from LibriVox It’s Like This, Cat by Emily Cheney Neville. It was read by Betsie Bush. (Here’s a link if you’re interested in “reading” it too: http://librivox.org/its-like-this-cat-by-emily-neville/.)

Betsie has been a friend since before kindergarten. That was a very, very, very, very long time ago. We have endured trials and celebrated triumphs. We have had falling outs and we’ve fallen down screaming with laughter. We have had many years to appreciate one another. Her voice is to me the sound of home.

So, when I started this cute audio story, I was looking forward to hearing the words read by my friend. Turned out, at the sound of her voice, I wanted to talk with her!

It drove me crazy to hear her voice each day, and not be able to carry on a conversation. Ack!

Well, I muddled through, each time I turned this on in the car, talking back at the audiobook by telling Betsie about my day, asking her how things are going, and laughing out loud at myself. I often talk to myself, but I’m sure this was stare worthy of my fellow drivers on the road. I yammered away at my dear friend for most of the book!

Not sure how much of the story I heard. Not sure I can do another one, but I might give it a try. It was nice to have her in my car for a few days.

Betsie, you’re always with me, even when you’re not.

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Posted by on June 27, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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I Fit, Episode 7

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Posted by on June 26, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Sex Scandal

A guy asked a farmer, “May I leave my cat in your barn? I’m moving out of town and cannot take her.”

The farmer said, “So long as she’s spayed, that would be fine.”

… a year later…

My dad says to me, “There are a couple of gorgeous kittens in the barn. We need to talk your mom into letting both of them live in the house with us.”

I say to my dad,”I thought all of the barn cats were fixed?”

My dad says to me, “Do you remember that guy who said his cat was spayed last year?”

I say to my dad, “Sure, she’s pretty.”

My dad says to me, “There’s a new Tom cat I haven’t caught to get neutered yet.”

I say to my dad, “So?”

My dad says to me, “It’s her second litter.”

Morale of the Story: I adore my girls, and I wouldn’t trade them. But as a pet care giver, I need to be responsible.
Please be responsible with me and spay or neuter your pets. It’s called love.

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Posted by on June 25, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Things I Know: Dog Roommates

I’ve only known dogs since I came home from the hospital a week after birth. (Once upon a time, new mothers stayed in the hospital a while to adjust to the new wee one for which they must learn to care for every minute of every day.) Due to these years of experience with hounds, I make this list of the things I know of doggie roommates to help future roomies.

  • Their eyes will get to you. These eyes will entice to you feed them treats, give them pets, let them in, let them out, let them in, and, in general, do their bidding.
  • They are resilient. They do get hurt, they can get well, but no one knows forgiveness like a dog.
  • They are never full. Well, they are full, but they will never stop letting you know that a little bit more here, and a smidge of that over there, would make them happy.
  • Their love is unconditional. This is a responsibility you have to love them back with as much adoration and enthusiasm. So it’s out of love that you don’t provide all of the treats requested. And they will forgive you for not doing their bidding.
  • Tail wagging is good.
  • Showing their teeth is bad.
  • Walks are the best!

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Posted by on June 24, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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