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Author Archives: Humor Happens

Am I Late?

This morning, I awoke to the sunlight and a hungry cat. After about 10 seconds, I realized that those two things mean that I was NOT on time for work. After I finished cussing like a sailor and flying out of bed (practically literally), I called my supervisor to let her know I’d be in as soon as humanly and traffic-wise possible. (Fortunately, I was able to work through lunch to make up the difference.)

Finally, after a fast, frantic, and furious preparation to forge on to the office, I remembered something:

A former colleague was always on time (always in this case is not extreme language). If she were going to be out for any reason, she would let us know as far in advance as possible, even for sick days (calling in at 2 a.m. while still hanging over the porcelain throne). Timeliness was one of her many virtues.

One morning, she wasn’t in the office. At five minutes after the hour, she wasn’t there and no one had a message of any kind from her. At ten after we starting fearing the worst. By a quarter after I called her home. Our conversation went something like this:

She said, “Hello?”

I said, “Hello! How are you today?”

She said, “I’m fine, but it’s Saturday so I’m sleeping in.”

I said, “Are you sure it’s Saturday?”

She said, “Of course! The alarm didn’t go off.”

I said, “Are you sure it’s not earlier in the week?”

She said, “Today is Saturday! Why are you calling me?”

I said, “Because it’s not Saturday. It’s Thursday.”

She said, “No silly, it’s Saturday.”

I (who is NOT a morning person) said, “Would I be up at this hour on a Saturday?”

She was silent for a long while.

Then she said, “I’ll be in as fast as I can get there!”

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Posted by on July 10, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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I Fit, Episode 10

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Posted by on July 9, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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What Happens in Vegas (03)

Among the things that don’t need to stay in Las Vegas are the desserts. I appreciate fruity things, and these three fruit desserts with one chocolate option were divine! I did share them with my travel companions, and we all agreed the red one was by far the best: raspberry. Thank goodness for buffets!

Moral of the Story: When eating in Vegas, save room for a few desserts.

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Posted by on July 8, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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I Fit, Episode 9

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Posted by on July 7, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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What Happens in Vegas (02)

After reading Carole Nelson Douglas’ mystery series about the cat Midnight Louie (a fun series taking place in Las Vegas), I was very much looking forward to seeing the Pirate exhibit at Treasure Island. I was impressed by the pyrotechnics and the size of the boats, but I was saddened by the scanty outfits the crew wore. The only photos I brought home were those of the techy stuff. The scanty stuff is welcome to stay in Vegas … or even skip town.

I know that’s part of the allure for some of Las Vegas – the sex appeal. For me, it was the architecture of the buildings and the larger than life signs. What did not interest me was the obscene heat. I don’t mean that I got hot from the men dancing on the bar at MGM Grand (okay, I did). What I mean is the heat index outside: 113 Fahrenheight = unacceptable! I’ll take Michigan any day!

Moral of the Story: Clothes are a good thing, even in horrible heat.

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Posted by on July 7, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Independence Day 2012

Growing up, my family hasn’t done much to celebrate July 4th. We had several reasons.

  • My father’s father and my mother’s father were both born on July 4th. When they passed on, there wasn’t the birthday party to celebrate them on the 4th any longer.
  • My father was a dairy farmer, so after milking the cows for the second time, going somewhere to see fire works wasn’t high on the list.
  • We would sometimes go to the top of our apple orchard and watch the fire works in town, but over the years the trees have grown up too tall, and it’s no fun to watch just the top of the festive displays.

Now, as a working adult, I must say that I am pleased with this setup. I enjoy a day at home. I enjoy celebrating the nation’s birthday and that of my grandfathers by sleeping in, watching movies, and taking a nap.

Moral of the Story: Sometimes there’s nothing more pleasant than relaxing on a holiday. Letting your body renew in preparation in order to be your best when life returns to the usual routines.

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Posted by on July 5, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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What You See in Vegas (01)

What you see in Vegas, stays in Vegas is the old adage. But sometimes, I wish what I saw in Vegas would be real, here all the time. Wouldn’t it be great to have a rescuer in everyday life?

Moral of the story: Thank goodness there’s God! He’s only a prayer away.

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Posted by on July 4, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Dad’s Gifts

My dad wasn’t big on gifts. He felt that being your best everyday was a gift to all of your loved ones. (I, on the other hand, am my best only now and again, so friends and family are very likely to receive gifts from me.)

After my dad retired from dairy farming (not from farming, just the dairy), he had more time on his hands. He and mom could take more time when they ran errands for the farm since there were no bossies waiting for his return. They would not only stop for lunch near their destination, but visit friends or family, stop by the nature center, and do a little site seeing.

On one of their afternoon outings, they enjoyed the Nature Center. It is always a delight to be there in that protected space. A while later, my mom received a hummingbird wind chime set that they’d seen at the Nature Center’s gift shop. My mom was thrilled! Not only did he get her a gift, but he had to go back later to do so!

Actually, dad gave us all gifts every day: a pleasant conversation, not judging us when we made mistakes, showing us his love of animals, sharing his memories, and so much more.

Today, the hummingbird chime is still in our front yard. Mom and I still think of dad when we see or hear it. One of those gifts that keep on giving.

Moral of the story: The greatest gifts of all, are the gifts of time, talent, and talk.

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Posted by on July 3, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Migraine, Migraine, Go Away

Has your face ever felt like someone was pulling the bones from it … slowly, painfully?
Has the back of your head ever felt like an axe was whacking it open with quick hits, reverberating your being?
Have you ever felt like an arrow was being shot through your eyebrow and coming out the back of your head again and again and again?
Have you ever had nausea so bad you can’t stand to breath? Every breath might be the one were you’ll lose the last hold you have on life?
Have you ever had your left arm go numb? You can use it, but there’s only that numb sensation? And, oh, the nausea. You know it’s not a stroke because you’ve had it before, and the doctors tell you not to worry. This too shall pass, it’s “just” a migraine.
Have you ever smelled bacon so strong, and yet there is no bacon near?
Have you ever smelled fresh mown lawn in the dead of winter? You could walk outside and touch it! But no, it’s not there.
Have you ever been so dizzy that the thought of walking sounds no different than spinning out of control on a carnival ride?
Have you ever tried to speak a simple sentence, and it comes out as a jumble? And you cannot bear to repeat it due to the pain of speech?
Has the light ever made your head throb, your eyes burn, and your skull to crack open?
Has speaking even one word seemed like such a painful act that you cannot even try? No matter that you’re at work, and the boss is asking you a question.
Has the sound of a moth’s fluttering wings ever been so loud, you need to cry out in pain from it, but you know that the sound of your own voice will be too much?
Has the smell of toast, which you normally find enticing, been so repulsive, that your throat starts closing from it?
Have you ever turned to look at a friend and felt as though your head was split open by a bowling ball, and the bowling ball was now coming down on it over and over and over again?
Have you ever walked a flight of stairs and found at the top that the left side of your head is filled with crushed skull and the shards are stabbing you ceaselessly?
Have you ever tried to wash your hair and found that you cannot touch your head without horrendous pain shooting through your entire body?
Have you ever dreamed a surgeon is cutting into your head while you walk down the sidewalk, only to wake and know that is just what your head feels like right now?
Have you ever had one-quarter of your head try to explode through the flesh, and since it can’t, the brain is beating and beating and beating on the skull to get out?
Has your head ever been tight, squeezing out your tears, making your nose to run, and your mouth bone dry?
Have you ever bent over to get something out of a drawer and your head feels as though a table saw is running through it? Once you stand back up, you hope the table saw has been turned off, but no, it is still there, rotating ceaselessly through your brain.
Have you ever brushed your teeth and found you are in migraine? The nausea, the dizziness, the pain, the agony means that you’ll be calling in late to work.

These are just some examples of migraines I’ve had over the last 20 plus years.

The blessing is that not every migraine is a 10 (worst) on a scale of 1 to 10. The pain ranges in intensity, as well as the symptoms.
The blessing is that they come and go, with the help of medications and treatments.
The blessing is that not every migraine is the same nor has the same symptoms.
The blessing is that it rotates around the quadrants of my head, letting other quadrants recover.
The blessing is that I have family and friends who love me in spite of this.
The blessing is that I’ve been able to continue to work.
The blessing is that there are doctors out there who understand pain.
The blessing is that I am not alone – many suffer and have compassion (although I wish that no one knew this pain).
The blessing is that people who have not ever had one iota of this pain have compassion.
The blessing is that I know to keep trying, help does come now and again for long-term relief.
The blessing is that God is with me. God did not put this disease on me, but He is here to see me through.
The blessing is that there is hope.

Why post this on Humor Happens? Because although there’s little humor here, there is the joy when it passes. For me, these pass. They come again, but there is relief between.

Moral of the Story: Pain, albeit recurring, has lulls. Count your blessings in the lulls.
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Posted by on July 2, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Dancing in the Water

Last night I joined in the Zumba swim class again. I didn’t work as hard as last time because I had a nasty migraine earlier in the day, and I didn’t want it coming back for a stay. Therefore, I wasn’t as wiped out after the class.

I still laughed a LOT during the class! It’s a hoot trying to follow the instructor while standing on tippy toe in a swimming pool up to my neck in water.

Now for the bad news: I had to pee at 35 minutes. No way was I going to get out for that! The last 25 minutes of class felt like an hour and a half.

In the end, it was worth it: I feel a little sore, the migraine didn’t come back, and I’ve gone to the gym two weeks in a row! Just to work on the beverage ratio factor.

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Posted by on July 1, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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